There are the priorities of your personality that include: your appearance, social standing, financial & marital status, career trajectory, comfort, happiness, and the like.
Then there are the priorities of your soul that include: understanding, truth, virtue, evolution & healing, service, kindness, and the like.
What are you committed to? Are you committed to comfort and happiness? Or are you committed to knowing the truth, and so a peace that knows no end?
There is never really 100% commitment either way. Of the highest yogis and servants of truth among us, all of them possess personal predilections, interests, and fancies. Likewise, some part of the most advanced personalities, deeply entrenched in the material world, yearn to live life as a total renunciate.
It’s just that when push comes to shove, the yogis and servants of truth always sacrifice their personality to whatever the soul, which speaks in the language of silence and intuition, is asking for.
Jesus Christ himself, aware of his coming crucifixion (so the story goes), prayed in earnest to avoid what seemed like a terrible, unjust fate. He then righted himself, praying, “Thy will be done.” Enlightened though he was, he — understandably — slipped into his personal preference, then quickly moved into his soul’s awareness.
If you are more committed to your soul’s path, often you will encounter such dilemmas because of the way society is structured.
You can either fight for what you want or surrender to what is. You can’t do both at the same time.
What you might find is by bending the knee, the thing you want has been resting at your feet all along.
It’s not out there. It’s in here.