Pressure and healing go hand-in-hand.

For truly effective healing to occur, pressure is required.

Pressure creates discomfort. Discomfort gets your attention. With your attention newly attuned, you can ask new, important questions and pursue new, important answers.

We should not fear when the heat is on. When the bills are pilling up. When relationships turn south. When we've made a mistake.

Something is trying to get your attention. Likely, some change is wanting to happen, and the pressure you are experiencing is the catalyst.

Unfortunately-though-understandably, we are creatures of comfort and want clear, blue skies all the way. At the same time, you can only enjoy comfort after experiencing discomfort.

Both are necessary. Both are friendly.

Settling Down

Secure work. A spouse. A house. Children. A vibrant social life.

Mainly, we work to acquire these things not because of our genuine interest in them but because they are seen by our hindbrains as a way to cure our fundamental anxiety of not really knowing what is going on here. 

We want to settle down to feel secure. Or, more to the point, we want to feel secure. We want to feel secure because our nervous system detects danger in the face of so many unknowns and unknowables.

If we are engrossed in the material life, yes, definitely, we should pursue external security. Start a career. Get married. Have a family. Live happily ever after.

If we are engrossed in the spiritual life, then we have figured out that anything external, from which we derive a sense of security, is flawed in the sense that it is not sustainable. If the source of our security is external, then it is subject to birth-life-death. What happens when we (inevitably) lose our job? Our spouse? Our children? Or, when any circumstance comes along and threatens those things we derive our security from?

What we — i.e., all of us — really want to achieve is sustainable security. The kind that doesn't ever go away. The kind that can't be challenged. The kind that just is. Eventually, we all will pursue it—but not at the same time.

This kind of security comes from within. It has to be realised. To realise security from within means to know that I am OK and that I will always be provided for.

With this kind of realisation or developed sense of trust, we move away from our personal sense of self and expand outside of the limited confines of the "I," which constantly feels a need to work and do something to feel OK. 

In spirituality, the last thing we want to do is settle down. In fact, you want to live right on the razor's edge, where you constantly face total annihilation and loss. It is in this "tightrope" environment where we learn to develop trust and where we can understand that we are never truly alone.

What's Best

You've probably been taught to master your destiny. Create your best life. Have the things you want to have. 

This is called materialism and the overriding assumption in this education (that is overwhelmingly left unchecked) is that you know what's best for you.

Do you?

Of course you want more money. To look better. To have an amazing partner. To achieve notoriety, and so on.

We are taught these things and those like them are valuable in and of themselves. We are taught to pursue them. And we are taught that something is wrong (with us) if we do not achieve them.

Based on these beliefs and conditioning, we slip into our personal sense of self, where the "I" is born. We become independent and solid—in control. Or, so we think.

We start envisioning what will make us happy and we start working towards realising it.

But do we really know what will make us happy and what is best for us?

Can you be sure more money, the right partner, the right job, etc. is right for you? Can you be sure that whatever you say is missing from your life will fundamentally improve your experience of it?

Relativity teaches us to be mindful from attaching to either of the poles. You find bad in good and good in bad. You find weakness in strength and strength in weakness. You find sickness in health and health in sickness. You find wealth in poverty and poverty in wealth.

And on and on.

In light of this joke, spirituality teaches us that it is possible — if not wise — to learn to be happy or OK now, despite all outward appearances and any and all thoughts that would have you believe something is missing from your life.

All you have to do is close your eyes, comfortably watch your breath, and let your restless mind settle.

Then you can ask the eternal question, "What in this moment is lacking?"

Nothing ever is and even if you honestly don't believe that, can you find the advantage in your disadvantage? It's there.