Give till it hurts

Mother Teresa advocated giving to the point where it hurts, or causes discomfort.

The most self-centered, conceited person you know asks a favor, maybe change for the bus ride. Seizing an opportunity to teach this person a lesson, you indignantly decline the request, hinting through self-righteous body language that he should know better. The nerve!

It would hurt you to give in this situation, it would cause personal discomfort.

What is hurting though?

Would an apple tree deny this person its fruit?

Does oxygen somehow get out of the way for him?

Do the sun rays veer clear?

Imagine if Nature behaved how we do. The human species would not last very long.

Why do we do it different than Nature?

We have egos. Egos with opinions, beliefs, judgments—egos that constantly need to reinforce their superiority, especially over other human beings.

Always the result of buying into ego belief is separation, a distance between me and you. Separation leads to loneliness. Loneliness leads to suffering.

If you are interested in changing this, and living more in-line with your heart, you can practice giving in areas where you normally shut down.

Despite 'better' judgment, you give the conceited person the change for the bus, lovingly. Two things happen: 1) Your honor and selflessness has the power to inspire and transform him. 2) The pain you feel and do not yield to, in a way, takes a little chunk out of your ego, lessening its grip on you.

You feel better taking the high road you're not trying to take (even the high road has a sense of superiority), and a much better result is had than trying to change somebody through negativity, no matter how justified you are.

Mother Teresa, in great wisdom, was advocating profound spiritual practice, not martyrdom.

Failing Miserably

You decided to skip all the lectures—maybe you thought you knew it all—instead, you stayed up all night to cram for the exam.

You failed. Miserably.

Every answer guessed was wrong. A torrent of confusion, pressure, and fear swept through your mind as you went from one wrong answer to the other to the other.

What is your teacher most concerned with now?

Penance? Excuses? Self-flagellation?

How about: action?

All your teacher cares about is corrective action in the future—no words need be exchanged, no presidential commitments submitted. Just do it different next time.

Particularly, care more. Pay more attention. Give it some more effort.

Should you have known better?

If you did, would you have failed so miserably?

Really, you're in a strong position. Now, you're clear and conscious of what to do next to improve (hopefully, if the failure is to serve a purpose).

The quesiton is: will you?

The child's scream

Do children cry in their sleep?

Most certainly not. Nothing is wrong. There are no needs. There is no danger.

They rest peacefully.

What happens when they resume waking consciousness?

Mental activity resumes. They perceive themselves as a singular 'I' that will not survive without doing something.

This is where the majority of a child's cringe-inducing wails arise from. Their ego that feels separate, afraid, and powerless--that demands attention from the outside world to ease its pain.

(Note to parents: No amount of coddling your child's ego will do him any good. In fact, you strengthen the ego by coddling it.)

It's really wonderful, children do not know how yet to mask their egos--so we get to see its workings in full, unadorned glory.

Ever find it odd no other creature in Nature makes such a disregulating noise as the child's manic scream? No other creature is as emotionally fragile?

Children go from happy to sad about every 5 minutes. Sad when ego doesn't get what it wants, happy when it does (for a short while).

Something unnatural is happening, the ego is unnatural.

See that we never grow out of this pattern of crying to get something we want--we just use different tactics, but they all revolve around using negativity (or positivity) to manipulate reality to feel better. And how we're only happy for awhile, while we have the something we want.

Does any of this occur during sleep? Do we have problems? Needs? Cares?

When are you the most at ease? When you are doing nothing. Wanting nothing. Needing nothing. Being perfectly still.

When the mind is silent, and ego, for a time, is disregarded. Now we know why the goal of meditation and process itself resembles sleep in every respect, and why Ramana Maharshi said your ultimate goal was to maintain sleep consciousness while awake.

You're still you when sleeping. The experience of reality has changed (for the better), but the experiencer remains the same.

With so much talk of waking up, what we really need to do is shhhhh ourselves to sleep. And realize, if we are fully cared for during sleep, we are cared for while awake.