When others treat you as their projection, try not to treat them as yours.

People often relate to us as if we were somebody else, as if they were experiencing a case of mistaken identity about who we are.

You might remind somebody of their father. Without knowing it — unconsciously — this person then relates to you as if you were this relative. Not always, but a pattern emerges.

If there is hurt in that relationship, that will very likely be projected onto you in the form of reactive, if not unfair treatment when you do things to trigger the hurt

We all do this.

The trick is to recognize when it’s happening and not perpetuate the cycle by you, yourself reacting, and so play out a theatrical drama that leaves both parties exasperated.

Consciousness is the needed medicine here. You can help with that by not taking the bait and biting on the temptation to react to the projection. You can also gently but directly point out the behavior, as is appropriate.

Then there is the ultimate practice: loving or accepting this person as he or she shows up, which requires having compassion for this particular tendency of ours to blindly make damaging mistakes.


I speak from Silence.