He Said, She Said is Addicting

We love it. Not only engaging in he said, she said but also watching it from the sidelines.

I am pro life. I am pro choice. I am for the environment. I don't believe in climate change.

We make identities out of our most deeply held beliefs and no matter what our age, we want other people to see and validate them.

He said, she said gets fueled when the need for external validation is not satisfied. With our partners, colleagues, family members, or whomever, it becomes like a kind of wrestling match—not the dignified and skilled Olympic kind, but the artificial WWE kind.

It is never ending drama. And our egos relish in it. The conflict reinforces the belief-based identity—in a distorted way, we get the validation we are looking for through negative validation. But it doesn't quite scratch the itch, otherwise we would stop fighting. More than a punch, we want a hug, or at the least a handshake.

All of this means embracing humanity. Embracing one another in our shared frailty. And for those who truly want extra credit, ditching the identity for the truth.