Belittling

In the found state, you become internally prohibited from belittling others. In fact, the desire to do so never arises since you understand the pain that judgments cause and, ultimately, their irreality.

By belittling others, you return to the lost state, where you are a single, independent "I" battling for control and survival in a harsh, competitive world filled with competitors seeking to take advantage of you. It's a scary place of the mind's making.

We go around cutting others down to assert our superiority but as it goes with such strategies, we end up hurting ourselves instead (though our egos may indulge in the cheap satisfaction — and it is cheap — of a well-timed insult).

All war traces to a battle of two egos, belittling one another, believing in false narratives of who is right and wrong.

In duality, you can't eliminate right or wrong. You have to have both. And you can understand this, even in the midst of heated disputes and angry exchanges, which helps elevate them to something other than a merciless cage fight.

It is possible to be fiercely opposed to somebody or something without negativity and "killing" impulses. Everything shows up, stays awhile, then leaves. Everything returns to zero. This means we don't take too many fixed positions because it is impossible to stay fixed when things are constantly in flux.

This means we assert but don't push, and this means we can let people be, even if they carry beliefs and opinions that violate our value system.

Truly the most powerful way to transform another is through your demonstration and living example of your most closely-held values. Truly the most powerful way to trigger another and nurture war is to force change when it is not ready to happen on its own.

You are special, as is every other human being on the planet. All of us are special, and so none of us are special—at the same time. That's a recipe for kindness and understanding.