The power of no

"Can you have that done by tomorrow?"

"Hey, let's go see a movie tonight."

"Want to come hiking with us?"

"Is that OK with you?"

Yes is what we say, when we really mean...

No.

Why do we fear the word no?

It's so interesting when you look at it.

But before we do, think about where and when you said, "Sure, I'll do that" when you really meant, "No, thanks.

Got one?

Saying no will sincerely connect you to the asker of the question and it will bring you into the present moment with him or her.

It will also expose how you feel, you will be seen.

Maybe that person will reject you?

Fire you?

Dump you?

Leave you in some way?

Call you a bad name or other such?

These are some of the deeper reasons why we avoid saying no but mainly we fear the sincere connection part.

But we know we should say what we mean and be integrous in our dealings with one another.

Yet we aren't.

However, what if you were to know that every time you say yes when you mean no, you basically lower your value as a human being and make yourself look bad?

Does that change anything?

The receiver of your fake yes will know that you mean no and might even ask, "Are you sure?" To which you will again say, "Yes" while inwardly rolling your eyeballs.

The receiver is left with, "Wow, I can get away with anything with this person." You have communicated that your value is lower, that you need approval.

This person loses respect for you, but won't outwardly show it in most cases. You will end up getting disrespected, second guessed, and even abused and then you will wonder how people can be so cruel when, after all, you are so nice.

But are you really?

When you say yes when you mean no, did you ever stop to think who you are saying no to?

Yourself.

When you say no to yourself, that hurts, and when done repeatedly, will create a reality that is a lie ... an emotional prison that you will blame others for putting you in.

This is the ultimate act of abuse and cruelty, so don't blame your abusers for showing you what you are doing to yourself. Thank them even because they are reflecting the truth so that you can make a change.

Remember: Every day is a day less.