Seva is Love, Love is Seva - Introducing the Loving Leadership Program

To a certain degree we are responsible for and control the direction of our lives.

We can consciously choose our intentions (paths of action to pursue), which leads to goal setting, and the work of making the intention a reality.

What we don’t have much control over is the path that leads the way once we have chosen, and thankfully so. There is a force—Nature—operating behind the scenes and in direct communication with your consciousness, that knows better than we how to get there. We will save ourselves a great deal stress if we learn to surrender to it and allow Nature to move us (as opposed to exerting our will, our idea of what’s right), even if the path it lays leads into unexpected, unknown territory.

Trusting the Power that knows the way

Back in January of 2010, my intent was to be working in Africa this year on this project that’s just now getting underway.

I ended up in India.

Arriving in India, my intent was to provide traditional medicine to as many leprosy patients in the leprosy community I’m working in as possible.

I ended up starting a leadership program with some of the brightest children of the community and my treatment work has not been nearly as front and center as I anticipated it would be.

Nature knows what you want and what you need to evolve (evolution is always the point) and so arranges people, places, and circumstances accordingly. Sometimes there is a direct intersection, sometimes a vague one, and sometimes none at all.

For millennia, saints, sages, Rishis, and numerous texts of truth, have prescribed the prayer of “Thy will be done.” “Trust the Power that knows the Way,” as Robert Adams liked to say.

In today’s terms—act on Nature’s will, internally felt as impulses, flashes of insight, and movements toward someone or something.

Nature is smarter than we. After all, it is responsible for the staggering and incomprehensible level of harmony and balance found in our solar system and the thousands and thousands of ecosystems within it, which ingeniously and effortlessly care for billions and billions of life forms like you and me.

Introducing the Loving Leadership program

During my first weeks at the loving leprosy community, I noticed there were a few children that stood out from the rest. They had a certain glow, a level of maturity beyond their years, and were always willing to lend a helping hand when asked.

More to the point: they all demonstrated extraordinarily caring characters and a natural respect for others and Nature. 

Loving Leadership Group @ ESI, Sugadh

All the major problems we’re facing as a species (environmental degradation, resource scarcity, poverty, starvation, etc.) boil down to poor or unenlightened leadership. By in large, our current leaders are infected with self interest, greed, and a disregard for humanity’s and Nature’s long term well being.

What’s needed to solve these problems—crises now, really—is a new breed of leaders, leaders that are vitally connected to Nature and who have a deep and abiding respect of and compassion for humanity.

One of the loftier ideas of the program then is to plant seeds for this solution.

More practically, as loving as the community is, I observed that it had few individuals who were willing to take initiative and solve a community problem (and this could be as simple as picking up an unsightly pile of trash on the ground). So why not inspire and empower this group of children to do so and give them a larger sense of purpose beyond school, house and homework?

Another core idea driving the program is to cultivate a sense of optimism (not hope) in the kids. What you often find in small, impoverished communities is the belief that you are resigned to life there, that there is no way out of or improving your situation. For example, ask any child at this leprosy community if traveling to the US and studying at school there would be possible for them and the answer would almost certainly be, “no, impossible.”

However, it is possible because you can choose the direction of your life and magical possibilities open up when you, as Joseph Campbell famously said, “follow your bliss.” In this spirit, I want to help broaden their perspective, cultivate a sense of optimism that they have options, and can work toward changing their life circumstances if they want to. ‘If they want to’ is important, as I do not presume to know what’s best for them.

There are a total of 12 children in the program, 4 boys and 8 girls, ages 9 — 14. At our first meeting, I offered that participation in the program was not mandatory, that it was their choice to stay or leave—each agreed to participate.

We meet weekly as a group and every week I create team or individual exercises, schedule field trips, or come up with service-based community activity to support the themes of the program. Yet, really, the greatest impact is created in our shared time together, the intention of the group, and the spirit in which the program is rendered. It’s not so much in the doing but in the being that matters most.

Finally, this loving leadership program is not outcome dependent, I do not expect these children to be ready to conquer the world after our time together. What I do expect is for the training to help them grow into more loving, service-minded adults that believe in possibility and feel sufficiently able to make their dreams a reality, despite beliefs about ‘impossibility.’

What is loving leadership?

This was a question I had to answer for myself.

Leadership.

A leader is somebody rooted in their sense self who takes initiative, usually to solve a problem.

Rooted in your sense of self is the essential element, the defining aspect—it’s the hard part and why most people prefer to be lead rather than to lead.

Being rooted in your sense of self means you listen within, you make your own decisions, you have your own thoughts, you observe the world in your own way, and take action on your own understanding, even if others don’t agree, even if it goes against the grain.

In a phrase, ‘Know Thyself.’

What does it mean to be loving? That’s a bit more vague, more difficult to define—I decided we needed a teacher.

Nature, to me, is the best teacher of what it means to be loving. So, as a group, we traveled to a home with a magnificent garden that would allow the kids to feel Nature’s presence (and play in the sprinkler system) and meditate on its loving qualities.

Each found a quiet space and took 15 minutes to write down their thoughts. To no surprise, the overwhelming majority of responses surrounded Nature’s giving qualities.

Nature gives and gives and gives. Selflessly. The fruit tree bears fruit for the Saint and Sinner alike. The sun shines on every human being, not just the ‘good’ ones. Never a day goes by where Nature says, “I’m tired, I don’t feel working.” And Nature never submits an invoice for the work that it performs—everything is freely given with no expectation of reciprocity.

From this understanding we derived our first and perhaps most important loving quality—Seva (Selfless Giving or Selfless Service), which immediately gave birth to one of our favorite sayings, “Seva is Love and Love is Seva.”

There can be no question that the giving of ourselves, unconditionally, without any reservation, without any expectation of reciprocity is at the core of what it means to be loving.

One of the kids said that Nature never fights or starts wars. While Nature does have fiercely destructive properties, we can take from this insight that Nature is in a perpetual state of harmony.

And it is, just look at our ecosystem. How perfect it is, how it self regulates, self sustains, self heals, how it never has any problems.

So harmony or dynamic equilibrium is wrapped up in what it means to be loving.

Another said that Nature is loving because it provides food for us and the animals to eat. A giving quality, yes, but this reveals something interesting—that Nature’s giving is always in the context of life promotion.

And so our third and last loving quality, life promotion. Nature is constantly promoting and sustaining life.

Now we have a better idea of what it means to be loving.

To give of ourselves selflessly in such a way that promotes life and harmony.

A loving leader then is one who is rooted in their sense of self, who takes initiative to solve a problem, selflessly, and in such a way that promotes life and harmony.

We need more Amma

After this definition was revealed, I asked the group if it sounded like anybody they knew.

One raised their hand enthusiastically and said, “Mommy.”

Absolutely. If you need a down-to-earth example of what it means to be loving, look to the women, and especially look to the mothers.

Why? They are directly connected to Nature (more so than men) and naturally embody all the qualities of a loving leader.

Are women responsible for master minding the industrial era that has violently polluted the earth’s landscape, that has depleted, destroyed, and misappropriated its resources? Are women responsible for the creation of armed warfare that has killed millions and millions in the name of peace? Are women responsible for religious dogma that has justified bloody crusades and brought in the fracturing divide and rule strategy?

No, they wouldn’t. It’s because of the way they’re hardwired—they’re naturally giving, have a deep connection to Nature and a reverent, caring respect for life. This is why it’s the women that hold the key to turn our world around—and they will.

It’s not to say that men can’t develop these traits, we can, unfortunately we’ve been brainwashed to view both Nature and being loving as weak, thus not masculine.

However, "The hands of the King are the hands of a healer." We can take these wise words from JRR Tolkien to gain an understanding of what true masculinity is and we can look to Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., and even Jesus for shining examples of men who embodied the characteristics of a loving leader.

Some of our activities

Based on our definition, we’ve engineered the program to revolve around 6 main themes:

Self Knowledge
Taking Initiative
Problem Solving
Seva (Selfless Service)
Harmony
Life Promotion

Here is a sampling of the activities we’ve been doing to support them.

Perform a Random Act of Kindness

The kids’ first homework assignment was to use the world famous ‘Smile Card’ and perform a random act of kindness.

This means approach somebody randomly, do something good for them that would make them smile, and then give them the smile card (which has instructions for the person who received the act of kindness to now go do one in return and pass the card on).

The point of the exercise was to give a live and personal demonstration of the value of Seva, which is tied up in two main concepts: 1) the joy or fulfillment felt when one gives in this manner and 2) the potential ripple effects of the act of kindness creating other acts of kindness.

Care for a plant

Standing before a row of plants we had out, the children were asked to take a breath, move slowly, and choose a plant that called out to them. After, we asked everyone to give their plant a supportive name (e.g., Truth, Love, Dharma, etc.), as doing so creates a greater, more conscious connection between you and the object you're naming.

Anu

NavinThe plants serve as an excellent symbol of the children’s growth process and conferred some adult-leader-like responsibility to them. Plus, the manner in which the children chose them, encouraged listening from within and letting a deeper voice inform their decision.

Visit to Seva Cafe

Manav Sadhna’s Seva Cafe is a fully sustainable restaurant built entirely on the concept of Seva and the joy of giving.

Seva Cafe uses a gift economy model for their commerce, which means there are no prices for any of the meals on the menu—you pay from the heart (if at all) and with the knowing that you are contributing to a future guest's meal (pay-it-forward). It’s also almost entirely volunteer run.

The kids were given a tour of the restaurant and were explained to about the gift economy model. They also heard from the volunteers and staff there who shared about what Seva means to them and why they give their time to the restaurant (all answers surrounded that doing so provides fulfillment not found elsewhere).

Visiting Seva Cafe was an enlightening experience, as it was the first introduction of gift economics to the kids and again served to support the value of Seva and investing in a life of service. It also gave some of the girls the opportunity to take to the stage and do a couple of dance numbers.

Tree planting

We celebrated Earth Day together at the leprosy community by planting several trees.

We got together, picked up trash, dug holes, got hands dirty, and planted some beautiful new trees.

This was time spent fostering togetherness, working as a team, and also supported the children’s connection with Nature.

Dinner service

Every night at the community there is free dinner service for 20 or so residents with leprosy who have no family and beg each day for money.

About an hour beforehand, several of the kids and I get together to sweep and clean the dining area. They participate in the prayer before the meal, help serve food, and clear dishes when they are done.

This activity touches on several of the themes. It’s Seva in action. It’s about Life Promotion. It’s about Harmony. It’s hands on experience working solely for the benefit of another human being for no monetary pay. They love it, know something important is happening, and aren’t distracted by some of the other kids who play in the nearby area.

Magic Carpet Exercise

This is a fun exercise to do with any age group.

Your group stands on a carpet and imagines it’s a magic carpet that has just lifted off the ground. But, the instructions to fly it are on the underside of the carpet and they must somehow get at them.

As a team then you have to figure out a way to turn the blanket upside down without having your feet touch the floor.

How do you do it?

By working together. Brainstorming and trying out ideas. And most importantly, communicating with one another.

Prayer / Meditation

Almost all of our activities and time together begins and ends in prayer and meditation—a practice directly influenced through my affiliation with Manav Sadhna.

Indian prayer is different from most Western prayer in that you are usually not praying to some deity for something. Indian prayer is more devotional in nature, more of an acknowledgment of what is, performed through song, mantras, as well as just simple silence with eyes closed.

One of our favorite mantras is: Om Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu (May all the beings in all the worlds become happy. Peace, peace, and peace be everywhere). We hold that any goodness we are creating in this group is also affecting the whole of humanity.

Our prayer and meditation time makes the experience more conscious, more sacred, and fosters greater presence.

Jin Shin Jyutsu Self Help

This strongly supports our theme of harmony.

I said before that the world’s problems boiled down to poor leadership. That’s not exactly true because it’s our leaders’ internal state of harmony (psychologically and emotionally) or lack thereof that determines what kind and quality of decisions they make.

It’s my faith that no human being, in their natural state of internal harmony, would seek to do harm to others or their environment—there is no other life form on Earth that does. It’s only us and it’s because we are out of balance within and have largely discredited, dismissed, or destroyed the knowledge we once had to keep ourselves in balance.

Jin Shin Jyutsu is an ancient medicinal art that promotes internal harmony. It is usually practiced on others but also has self help application—in other words, you can practice it on your self.

Here’s something quick you can do right now. Hold your right thumb with your left hand for 5 minutes with your eyes closed in a relaxed position, notice too how the pulse you feel is affected (rapid to slow, non-existant to pulsing, etc.). This helps calm the nervous system, dissipates anxiety, and eases digestion (ever wonder why babies suck their thumbs? Why not their pinky fingers?).

On a few occasions, I've guided the group through one of the more comprehensive self help applications of Jin Shin Jyutsu, The Main Central.

A powerful silence and peace enveloped the room as the kids went inside, got quiet, and their internal systems began to move into greater balance.

Self regulation and internal harmony begets external harmony and is a key characteristic and ongoing discipline of the loving leader.

Dream letter

I asked everybody to write a letter to themselves 5 years into the future.

For example: “Dear Christopher, by this time in 2016 you will have published a successful book. You’ll be living in the south of India, in a rural village with a wife and two kids.” Etc.

It’s a visioning exercise to get your imagination flowing, to start dreaming, to start getting excited about possibility, and also to start thinking about what kind of future you want to create.

I can safely say it was the first time any of these children did anything of the sort.

Starting before you’re ready

I recently read a great manifesto by Steven Pressfield called "Do the Work" and in it he highlights the importance of “starting before you’re ready” in any creative endeavor, so as not to get hindered by resistance in the form of hesitation, second guessing, doubt, and so on.

In other words, start working. Take the first step, even if you aren’t fully prepared. He advocates getting primal and letting your unconscious guide you and instead of having the perfect plan to launch your project, get it out there, then edit and revise as necessary.

Ship it.

In all honesty, I haven’t taken any formal leadership training courses or taught kids before like this. However, I did have a strong sense that could not be ignored that this program needed to happen.

So I wrote a basic outline for it, shipped it, and each week create new content based on where I feel we need to go and focus on.

Personally, I have been surprised at just how dynamic the program has turned out to be and I have a strong feeling that the curriculum we're writing could easily be adapted and replicated in other parts of the world.