The ethos of nice, positivity, politeness, and the whole lot of such wholly unnatural and ingenuine behavior has got to stop if there is to be any meaningful change in the world.  

Nice. Prevalent most with males whose masculinity was not nurtured properly due to an absentee father. It's the guy who listens attentively to his girlfriend go on and on and on and on about every last detail of her day, who helps process every single feeling or worry she had even though he doesn't want to and knows that doing so is not actually meeting her needs. But after all, it's the nice thing to do.

Positivity. Found primarily in the new age movement, as well as those who get into self-help or personal development. It's the one who thinks that the so-called 'negative' emotions of anger, fear, and grief are wrong, are to be avoided, and mess up 'the vibe.' After getting a serious diagnosis, such people will say you need to will yourself to health by focusing on 'the positive' and other positive things like mantras, meditation, vegan diets, etc. After all, you created the situation and you can get yourself out.

Politeness. Related to positivity and niceness but has a slightly different flavor, synonymous with 'politically correct,' and is an absolute epidemic in America. This behavior allows people to walk all over you while you smile and say, "that's OK." It keeps you from saying anything meaningful that would cause conflict because, you know, it wouldn't be polite. Some aspect of politeness (silence) will always be found in victimhood by the way.

All of it is fear based. The nice guy is scared of connection abandonment, the positive person is scared of their own shadow, and the polite person is scared of confrontation abandonment. As such, evil in its many forms is allowed to flourish because a frightened person is a silent person. (Sidebar: evil aka painful circumstance is nothing more than a wake up call to the sleeping.)

Where they all meet is in a profound fear of the present moment, where we believe we are thoroughly vulnerable and out of control—nothing could be further from the truth, actually. This fear prevents your true voice from being spoken, real actions taken, real feelings known, or natural motions, like a hug or kiss, from being made.

This fear makes you a slave.

The reptilian hindbrain that wires us for servitude has a lot to do it, as does a growth and future-obsessed culture that blatantly disregards and disrespects present moment consciousness.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." — Anais Nin

If you are one of The Children, then you likely identify with this statement deeply, are feeling this pain acutely, and have your work cut out for you. You are doing homework on behalf of the entire world, as mass change always starts with a dedicated minority population. Bless you.

If you recognize some of these patterns in yourself, know they aren't serving you, and aren't quite sure what to do, take a breath and try different. As if you were performing an experiment, try a different response when you would usually be nice, positive, or polite and examine the result.

Say no to a manipulative friend who uses you.

Don't immediately recommend a solution that works for you, instead listen until precious other knows they have been heard.

Try what feels wrong, especially if it will cause manageable conflict you would tend to avoid.

Most of all: don't take it all so seriously, have fun with the change you are trying to make. This is a playground of experience after all.

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