If it hurts, it's a test

"If you are irritated by every rub, how can you be polished?" — Rumi

Almost all of our growth into maturity comes by way of pain.

Could be money. Job frustration. Some perceived lack (confidence, success, status, etc.). Loss of an important relationship.

It's anything from the outside that makes you feel like a failure, that the world is going to end, and you're not going to be OK.

It's like a test.

And you're failing the test if you take the hook and buy in to whatever script your mind runs about the event.

"If he dumps me, I'll be all alone for the rest of my life." Gasp. Panic. Then try and urgently fix.

Instead of regulating your experience.

"Let me take a step back for a second. Let me not identify with the content of my mind. Let me observe it for a minute without latching on to it."

You pass the test when the external content that you perceive as bad (and good too, but that's a different story) doesn't make you react.

Once you react, you're caught, and you lose. Game over.

Once you are able to meet, emphasis on meet, the content—observe it, without reacting to it, then you will pass through unscathed and likely walk into a solution.

Equanimity in the face of both pleasant and unpleasant external content is one of the key skills of being human.

Welcome the hurt and use it to grow.