Living in a culture that values mastering your own destiny, with its constant stream of how to advice, routines, protocols, algorithms, steps, and so on it's very easy to buy into the illusion that with the right application of the right technique you can achieve any desired outcome. Nothing could be further from the truth. Especially when it comes to personal fulfillment and success.

It's not to say that there's anything wrong with this 'doing' type of culture or thinking… Take a look at all that we have achieved, mainly through the power of will and determination. It's just to say that, when it comes to deeper matters, matters such as inner fulfillment, success, and Self realization there is nothing we can do to speed up their attainment.

I know that it's easy to get frustrated and down on our selves. We all dwell in certain fields that inspire us, that carry our attention, that we dedicate our lives to. And in those fields there are leaders, leaders who seem to have it all and are able to do all the things we want to do but can't. They have something we don't.

Listen, I wish I was 6'5" (I'm 6'1") because I think it's cool to be tall like that but the reality is that I'm not and I won't ever be. There's nothing I can do about it. It's out of my control.

Similarly, when we look 'up' to the leaders in our field, whoever they may be, even including spiritual masters, you can basically look at these individuals as being, at most, a little bit taller than you. Wishing you were their height is as ridiculous as me wishing and actually getting frustrated at the fact that I'm not 6'5". Get it?

Every single one of us, including you, is on a journey. That journey is like a wave. Shaped and determined by Nature, not you. You are in the right place, at the right time. You should not be any further long or any farther back than you are already.

It's noble indeed to want to be better, to want to improve, to want to climb a mountain, to want to be just like Mike (like Michael Jordan for the younger readers). Just realize that the process to get there is ultimately one that you do not govern.

Fight as you may to change things. Cats don't bark. Dog's don't meow. Sunsets don't last forever.

The path leads to surrender. Surrendering to who you are, right at this very moment, right now. Embracing who you are, knowing that you will not be the same way forever. You are an evolving being, moving towards the realization of your heart's desire. One day you will get there, who knows when. It really isn't your concern.

What is your concern is your attitude as you walk along. Do you get upset at what is being withheld from you? What is beyond your reach? What is not here yet? Or, are you grateful for what you have, what you are, and what you are becoming?

That, my friend, is your choice to make and one that makes all the difference.

Being a frequent user of public transportation, I cross paths with many people with various physical handicaps, mental challenges, and the like. You begin to realize that when you are blessed enough to have the good fortune of a 'more' able body and mind, that perhaps even a duty to live life boldly comes with it.

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Those of us who have suffered and lived through early emotional upset possess a special gift. The precious gift of awareness and so the gift of changing the world.

Whether it was the terror of living through an atrocious act of war. An alcoholic parent or an absentee or abusive parent, you lived to tell the story and for a lot of us, it's a story we tell with a poor me/victim mindset.

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Photo credit: mbc from Flickr

1. Make a sincere commitment to do so.

This is the bedrock, the foundation of it all. Its importance can't be overstated.

If your life is a mess, on the one hand, you can blame it on ignorance of not knowing what to do and what your alternatives are, this is particularly true if you are younger. That's fair. On the other hand, if you know there is a better way and what your alternatives are ... and your life is still a mess, I have bad news for you: you want it that way. And so it is.

In either case, usually, you will have to suffer ('accidents' or dramas of various degrees of magnitude) to the point of change, where then you will have the clear realization that your current ways must shift and so you make a sincere commitment to alter your trajectory. And so you do.

It's incredible that once you make this commitment, the path opens up and becomes clear. Everything that you need to do becomes obvious. People, places, and resources show up to assist you.

2. Spend a week in sweet solitude.

Do you spend your days in perpetual motion? Working 9 to 5, going out to parties or dinner gatherings afterwards, constantly around friends, constantly doing stuff, always preoccupied with something?

Since you are not taking time for your Self, it's as if you are not taking out the trash in your home and so it begins to pile up and make a stink.

If you are serious about cleaning up your life, take a week off from your social life, from people, from going out, etc. Whatever your distractions are.

If you have to work, that's alright. Just go home afterwards, don't accept anything but emergency calls, deal with non-essential email later (perhaps using an auto-responder to let people know you won't be replying for a week), don't look at news, blogs, Facebook or Twitter.

Relax instead. Read books. Get some energy work done. Think about your life (while taking a walk alone perhaps), think about your goals, do some writing. Spend time with your Self, in whatever way seems best.

The important part here is to just be alone, which is a form of unplugging. This can help dust to settle in your life and give opportunity for new insights to arise.

3. Spend some time in Nature.

Seems obvious, right? Or maybe it seems like, "I know that, but I don't want to do it, that's boring."

If your palate has grown accustomed to fast food because that's all you eat and you have become overweight and know you need to eat healthier, the thought of green, leafy vegetables is going to make you sick (even though you know it's what you should eat). That's to be expected. It's called resistance.

Spending time in Nature is deeply restoring and vivifying. Ever spend several hours on the beach and go home in a better mental state than when you began? Or taken a long hike and felt cleansed after? That's what I'm talking about. For city dwellers, just escaping to the park for a few hours can do the trick.

Being in Nature is natural, after all, and has a powerful physical effect on our biology that we miss out in our 'civilized,' mostly indoor world.

If you enjoyed the post, please check out my upcoming work in Rwanda, Africa. I need your help. Either by spreading the word about it, or through financial contributions. I thank you.

"Can you have that done by tomorrow?"

"Hey, let's go see a movie tonight."

"Want to come hiking with us?"

"Is that OK with you?"

Yes is what we say, when we really mean...

No!

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